DubyaTeeEff - September 15th, 2006

Something happened to me watching DEAD AND BREAKFAST - a bit of a satori kinda moment.

I knew, intellectually, that this was a Fun movie, an Affectionate Spoof, but I found myself bored and distracted beyond comprehension. I was REQUIRED to like this movie, fer Chrissakes. It was a zombie spoof with lotsa gore, a country Greek chorus and Jeremy "MAY" Sisto. Why then did the whole thing seem oddly embarrassing and unworthy of attention?

I don't think it's age - I've not lost my affection for kitsch or irony as death has tightened it's icy grip on my ever hardening arteries...I think that I'm just seeking more genuine experience. This movie is a smirk, not a smile.

I've no patience for what the modern horror movie has become - an interminable stew of TEXAS CHAINSAW remakes, lesbian vampires and shitty zombie make-up. It's all a tremendous waste. If you have the time, patience and drive to craft a film, why make shit? Why make DEAD AND BREAKFAST when you can make MAY? Why make VAMPS: DEADLY DREAMGIRLS when you could make HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER or STREET TRASH?

Also, a side comment:

If it wouldn't be funny in a comedy, it sure as shit ain't gonna be funny in a horror comedy.

OH Noes!!1!

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Yes, I know it's fake, people. Settle down.